taking stock.

 

Making: lots of hoop art for lots of lovely people. I'm rather slow sometimes but I love seeing the happy recipients. feel free to custom order as well (if you're ok with waiting) ::smiles::
Cooking: more homemade meals because things just taste better when you marinate/bake/saute/love them
Drinking: La Croix sparkling grapefruit water... water CAN taste amazing.
Reading: Tim's Gunn's Life Lessons. I just believe every person should read it because he's so sweet and truthful. Such a rich and rewarding read.
Wanting: to just lose those 20lbs while still eating all things delicious. or to just not care.
Looking: at a very quiet space that needs invigorating.
Playing: too many songs in my head... i should probably turn on some real music.
Wasting: time not doing something i love. time to focus on my future and what i want.
Sewing: many hoops. and one awesome cowl. slowly.
Wishing: that it were already friday so we could go on our anniversary trip to Vegas and be in that huge Venetian hotel bed watching free cable while drinking wine. whew.
Enjoying: late night chats with the fella in bed. we always come up with the silliest conversations that make me melt all my stress away and just smile.
Waiting: for answers. it's all out there. now we have to wait.
Liking: that fall is happening (even if it's not quite the same in LA) at least I get to see scarves, leaves and cold air in all of your photos. keep 'em coming.... says me.
Wondering: if engagement is in our near-ish future
Loving: that it's about to be five great, challenging, growing and incredibly wonderful years with fella and i can't wait to see what the next five bring us.
Hoping: for more time to accomplish everything 
Marveling: at how positive my man always is through how hard he works. i'm pretty lucky.
Needing: a dog. this is the month. here's hoping we find just the right rescue.
Smelling: the delectable chocolate brownie that i may or may not have eaten all by myself when it was large enough to share.
Wearing: leggings, chambray and my favorite leaf necklace from junghwa that i just MUST show you sometime soon
Following: my heart in every risk i take moving forward.
Noticing: my scratch and dent in my pretty new car. knew it would happen eventually; guess i'm glad i wasn't the one who did it? #silverlining #maybe
Knowing: i don't use proper grammar, i haven't had a haircut in almost a year and my nail polish is three days past removing....  but it doesn't really matter.
Thinking: about what sounds amazing for dinner (any suggestions?)
Feeling: sore from too much work 
Bookmarking: lovely photos on pinterest of course
Opening: all my favorite blogs in tabs so that there are many happy moments in my day
Giggling: every time he sings to me 
Feeling: hopeful and encouraged


You can find lots of good version of this list from Ashley, Sydney, Ilene and now yours truly. The original is found with Pip. If you make your own; leave me a comment with the link so I can read it. 

If you want more seriously beautiful posts be sure to follow along with:

 

I've got secrets... Oh yes I do.

So normally I'm the type to just burst out all her secrets....

I'm the worst at Christmas, any time there's a surprise party or when a friend says, "I've got something to tell you but you can't tell anyone". For me, these are invitations to tell someone else.... or go crazy.

But y'all....
I've got the biggest secret.
And truly....
I cannot tell you yet.
Because I also believe in the power of the jinx. And this... this I cannot risk the jinx! 
But... do believe I will be telling you SO BIG....just as soon as I can.

In other news....

How's life? I feel so nutty lately. We're shopping around for a house to rent here in Los Angeles. It's funny because we've lived here almost two years (whaaat?) and know where we want to be, what kind of house we need and even how much we can spend comfortably. And now... there aren't any houses to be found. This pocket of the world is quite interesting I tell ya. Everyone here is here for the same things:

Dreams. Big ones. Money. Lots of it.  A beautiful life. And how.

VIA

There are opportunities to be had all right. But there are also way more people in the same boat to the same island if you get what I mean. The things I'm probably learning the most while we're here are strength and perseverance. Because friends.... it is hard. But worth it. Isn't that usually how it goes?

You, Los Angeles..... you are an adventure. One that I'm learning very slowly to navigate and enjoy.

Happy Monday friends.

If you want more seriously beautiful posts be sure to follow along with:

 

a little spit shine.

I've really been feeling this year. I feel like it's the year for change, growth and happiness. That means a new look and purpose for the blog/biz (including sponsorships!), more exciting posts including fashion, recipes, and other surprises..... AND a more focused me!

I've been doing some shopping and exploring of new blogs and am excited to start spreading the "BEAUTIFUL" name out there in the community a bit more. I'm stepping out of the bubble that I've created for myself because even though I LOVE everyone that I've met; I want to make new friends and learn new things from those people. I still have growing to do and I'm going to try and make this year a huge one for growth and maturity for me. 

Also I'm turning 27 this March. Not that it's really any special number or anything but I think since I'm getting closer to 30 I just want to set and achieve some life goals for myself. Here's hoping that I don't end up on the couch, absorbed in reality TV with a bag of chips by month two. But.... that does sound awesome sometimes doesn't it? 

What would you like to see this year?

BEAUTIFUL HOOP//PURCHASE HERE

Why I am having trouble doing what I love.

It makes me sad not to be blogging.
I have so many ideas in my head of pretty thoughts and DIYs that I want to share with you.
But alas, life has been really keeping me from that.

Source: artistlaraharris.tumblr.com via Tara on Pinterest

But I want to explain.
So you know that I'm not just a bad blogger.
Or lazy, or tired of it.
Cause I'm most certainly none of those.
But this is why…

Source: loveisthethingwithwings.blogspot.com via Tara on Pinterest

 MY DAILY ROUTINE {give or take a few details of course} ::


6am-Wake to an annoyingly loud alarm that fella must get up for. Thankfully I get to stay cozied up in bed for a bit longer and he will reset said alarm for me.

6:45-Goodbye kiss. <3

7:30-Alarm again. Must get up. Shower, coffee {waiting for me, thanks babe} and out the door in a flustered hurry {always}; by 8:30.

8:30-9ish- LA traffic!! Ugh. Enough said.

9ish-2 or 3pm- Nanny the sweetest boy {6mos} and try to work, email, sometimes blog from my iPhone while he sleeps.

3-4:30-  Head home. Eat something. Clean up house, try to fill orders, answer emails or blog if time. Get ready for job #2.

4:30pm-Drive to Job #2 and yell at terrible drivers about being better humans. {truth}

5pm-9:30 or midnight/1am- Serve people beer, wine, food and whatever else ridiculousness they may need. {Please tip your server!! Please.}

And after everything I'm back home. Trying to force food into my mouth. Trying to stay awake for a quick show on TV with my equally exhausted fella, and trying to pry contacts from my tired eyes only to plop them back in first thing in the morning.

Source: traceysthoughts.tumblr.com via Tara on Pinterest

And the weekends? Those are days in which laundry, cleaning, events {there are ALWAYS many of those with a brewer for a man} and all other chores get tended to.

I wanted to share this because… well because my true heart loves to write. My true heart is still working toward a full time professional career in writing.
And my true heart loves this blog, this community and reading your writing, your comments, and stories from YOU.

Source: bookfessions.tumblr.com via Tara on Pinterest

But I wanted you to know why I'm not the kind of blogger who can spit out 3-4 posts a week with beautiful photos {I also don't own a camera beyond my iPhone}.

I wanted you to understand that when I do have even an hour to myself, I'm either sitting at my laptop with 100+ tabs open {yes I open EVERY post separately because I love the full experience} or I'm agonizing over what to write for you.

Source: impatientlyprayingforpatience.blogspot.com via Tara on Pinterest

OR, rarely I am creating something for my shop, a friend, or family member.

I don't ever have time for books anymore, I know nothing about the Hunger Games craze or even why I need to care; but it's ok because I have my blogs.

So please understand. I'd love to be following my heart. But circumstances are against me a lot. But I hope you'll stick with me. Cause in a few months… my schedule's a-changing. And I cannot wait.

Source: myconcretesky.com via Tara on Pinterest

Thanks for being my bloggy friends.
Xo.

Words cannot express.

Today has been unreal. Today is why I live. Today has left me with a warm heart and a permanent smile. And while I'm feeling this exuberant joy.... I had to tell about it. So I can always remember why I must work hard.

Today I had coffee, aimless shopping and the BEST conversation with a fellow blogger---Jacqui. Jacqui blogs at BabyBoyBakery and reached out to me to see if I wanted to meet up. I've never met any of my friends from this community "in real life" so although exciting... this was also scary in a way. But we absolutely had the BEST time together. We are so similar and can really relate to each other. This new friendship is something that is so invaluable to me especially if you read this post from awhile back. 

I also found a PERFECT xmas surprise for fella and cannot wait now to give it to him. But sorry, can't share a photo of that just yet. ;)

While purchasing said gift, the cashier told me she loved my headband and asked where I got it. When I told her I made it {best feeling to be able to say that} she asked where she could shop and I got to hand her one of my new cute business cards from Moo.com.

THEN, I came home to check the mail {one of my favorite activities ever} and found that my first published article had arrived!!!

I cannot ever describe to you how it feels to see your writing in print and then to also have someone paying for those words. And other people reading them! It was IS the best feeling. I am accomplished and I CAN do THIS.

And just to top it off I found that my friends at ShopKempt have me featured on their site from this post and I just feel so overwhelmed with appreciation to be considered a "fashionable blogger". If you've never visited their site you MUST. They have the CUTEST clothing at the BEST prices. Love love love THEM.

It's such a beautiful day. I'm going to keep the happiness flowing by getting some new products listed in my shop. Who cares if I don't have a swanky nice camera? That's not what matters.

And you should smile too. Tomorrow I will have a giveaway for you from one of my fabulous sponsors, Poshlocket. You will love it.

twenty-five.

When I was little I always had this grand thought that 25 would be THE age. There was something special about the number and I had a strong feeling all my life that something would HAPPEN at that time. Of course I never had any idea what the "something" should or would be.... but it never occurred to me to care.

Source: picturesandquotes.net via Taylor on Pinterest

I did however at least believe that by 25 I would be married, most likely either have one child or be working on it. ;) I thought I'd be settled into a career that I got from having accomplished my Bachelor's degree. I pictured a house with cute photos of my family everywhere and one of those fellas who makes you CRAZY but in the best way and you cannot believe really exists.

Source: stylemepretty.com via Jessica on Pinterest

I had all kinds of dreams. I thought I'd have myself figured out.


Boy, was I wrong.


I turned 25 in March of this year. My fella turned 30 (sorry babe!) three days before me so I threw him a big surprise party at his favorite brewery. He got to snowboard and see lots of friends and family and I was just SO HAPPY to do it for him. Honestly though, that BIG DEAL 2-5 that I had been waiting my ENTIRE life for... turned out to be just another birthday. There was dinner and a movie date with my love, but nothing life changing occurred.

Source: google.com via Mary on Pinterest

And since turning 25?


Well, a lot has definitely happened this year. Starting a WONDERFUL blog and learning about an amazing community of people. Starting an amazing handmade business that allows me an outlet to be creative and share that with others. Leaving Oregon. Leaving my beautiful little girls (that I nannied for) that I ADORE and I'm sad to be without everyday.  Moving to California. Living with a BOY. Being totally in love. Not working a real life job for a few months and feeling the loss of income. Figuring out what I genuinely want to do as a career. Trying to figure out how to achieve that while still paying the bills. Getting published as a writer (and PAID!).

Source: eighteen25.blogspot.com via Tara on Pinterest

a lot has happened. 

But there are still days. When I think.... "I'm 25. Almost ALL of my friends are married and most of those also have babies. Many people my age own a house and a car. Almost everyone has a pet of some kind. People my age are HAPPY in their CAREER."


And me.... I'm working two jobs that aren't my passion but I'm doing to pay the bills. I owe $40,000+ in debt from school. I live in an apartment and would DIE for a house (even just to rent) and a dog (and cat too!). I own a sewing machine that I'd love to have time to learn to use. I KNOW I could be a fantastic writer if I could just get a job full-time. I have SO MANY goals.....

Source: funkyvintagekitchenblog.com via Tara on Pinterest

So really this isn't a post to say... "gosh my life is so not cool". 

It's a post to say I'm working at it. It's not where I thought it would be, or where the majority of others may be... but that's not my life. 

This is a post to inform my childhood self.... 25 is just another number. It doesn't stand for anything. Just go after what YOU want for YOURSELF and the rest will come. Oh, and try not to be so grumpy. And wear sunscreen. And drink water. Ugh, nevermind..... too much to tell you. Just remember the first part. Mkay?

Source: flickr.com via Tara on Pinterest

So don't worry if you aren't "where you think you should be"  whatever your age or place in life is. Also don't compare your life to others. This is your journey and it's unique to you. If you don't have something that you want....figure out how to get it.

Source: darlingdexter.com via Chelsey on Pinterest

And remember to let go of all the worries once in awhile and just be. Chances are there's something to enjoy just about today.

we're moving!

And we're so scared and excited for this journey together.

My fella is a brewer and just got asked to brew at a new start-up production brewery, Golden Road Brewing  in Los Angeles, California. We are beyond thrilled that he's going to be working again and doing what he loves. Plus, this opportunity is AMAZING.

But as you know, decisions like this do not happen easily and unfortunately this one happened so fast, that we didn't have much time to figure out how we felt about everything. We knew he needed to take advantage of the opportunity but not what it would mean for us.

Without taking you through our entire emotional journey.... I'll just say that we knew we weren't done together. And because I had the flexibility to also move....I would.

SO here we are. So anxious and eager to move forward into this new exciting venture. It's a big step for us but since we both came from divorced families; we find it important to take the big steps with care and appreciation.

Thank you so much for your support! And I'll do my best to blog the journey as we travel it. I can't wait to tell you about the sunshine!

a happy and a sad

Yesterday I had an amazing meeting with the editor-in-chief of a local food/drink paper. We had been connected through a friend and I was STOKED for the opportunity to talk to her about my writing. If you are new to following me, let me fill you in.

I've LOVED to write my entire life. But I for some strange reason never thought I could make anything of it. Insert blogging world. I started my blog in January of this year and have never been happier. I get to share my voice and that's the greatest feeling ever. Even if I'm the ONLY reader. :) I have a Bachelor's degree in Early Childhood (whoop) and I'm currently working as a nanny. It's a great job but wiping noses and singing ABC's daily doesn't exactly fulfill my heart and my mind. It's lonely when you want to just have an adult conversation but even your time with adults is spent talking "kid". I knew this year that I needed to make a change and start following my true heart. 

via

 
So here I am now. Writing for all of you (LOVING IT) and trying to freelance (professionally and for money). It's a hard journey but each step I take in the right direction just feels GOOD. It's like I can actually feel myself climbing UP a ladder instead of trying super hard to climb and only standing STILL. Anyone know what I mean?

I had this meeting yesterday and it was amazing. She wants me to write for her but beyond that we connected at an emotional level. We talked men, lifestyle, experiences, food......it was like meeting a friend for coffee....but for the first time. We just clicked.

via

 

And then I went home and got horribly sick. Definitely food poisoning. HAVE NEVER FELT SO TERRIBLE and I've had ovarian cysts that detached, wandered my insides and then burst. Food poisoning is NO JOKE. Ugh.

But enough on all that. I have a Winner today for you all. The winner of the giggles, glitz and glam giveaway is.......

So email me so that I can hook you up with your custom TUTU.  Congrats and thanks to everyone who entered! Happy Weekend!

On my [heart]

via

This week I want to share more about my goal. To write. Professionally.
Have you ever had something in life that was right in front of you but it was just barely out of reach? This is where I am with writing. I have applied for jobs, submitted my children's book series to a publisher and been connected with some AMAZING contacts in the industry.  I should be doing this any day now right? Right?
My current job now has a deadline. It's not like I'm being fired or let go (or even that my employers WANT me to go.....they really don't) but the situation is changing and they know that I really want to explore other career options so they are just letting me know that I need to decide and be able to give them an answer (to stay or to go) by mid-July so that they may figure out if they need to find a replacement. TOTALLY FAIR. But I wish I had an answer for us both. I wish I could say....well I'm going to regretfully be leaving.....TO DO SOMETHING I LOVE. But I don't know that. And I can't quit a sure career with the HOPE that I will make money somehow. 
No one ever told you that growing up would be so difficult. Boo. If you've heard of anyone that would love to pay a lovely lady to write her heart out....would you please pass them my info? Mkay. Thanks.
Let us all go back to the days of this:

via

I am linking up to the beautiful Casey Weigand this week and so can you. Visit her here.

Follow my [heart]. Step one.

I just wanted you guys to know. That today I followed my heart. I officially put together a proposal for a children's book editor. And sent it to her. Done and done.

Here's a sneak peak for you:

  

Am I excited? Yes.

Do I have any idea where this is going? Nope.

Am I trying not to get too crazy excited? Ha, I wish. 

What are you doing to follow your [heart]? I want to hear about it. 

Making Hard Decisions

Here's the truth people. 

I am a big baby about making big decisions.

And some lots of days, 

I am cranky about the daily choices I make. 

And here's why. 

I was not following my heart.

I was trying so hard to do what I thought I HAD to. 

And what's good about that?

It makes you feel like you're shoving a square peg into a round hole. 

via

And I'm always telling my kiddos 

(at work of course)

That you have to find the right shape for it to fit.

So here's the TRUTH.

I stink at anything science.

Yet I've been BEATING MYSELF UP trying to take anatomy.

I mean really putting myself through a hard time.

And feeling rather like a loser because I wasn't smart enough.

And all of this was making me very unhappy. 

I was also spreading this unhappy.

In my words, 

thoughts,

and actions.

NOT OK.

So here's the new plan:

I went to Anatomy today.

And left before it even started. 

I decided not to do it anymore.

(At least for this moment)

Because I deserve to follow my heart.

(And stop wasting my monies)

What am I going to do?

I am a writer.

I've always known it.

And I have a writing dream.

I've even shared it once with you!

Read about it.

This is me happy.

I choose this today.

(Although I'm not quite there still yet)

(Because I'm still pretty nervous)

But I'm working on happy. 

Also part of the goal here is to be the best blogger I can be!

So I need your support,

FEEDBACK

(on what you'd love to see)

and your help sharing the love. 

Tell everyone!

That I'm here for their enjoyment. 

And to share my happy. 

If you want to see who inspires this dream:

Take a gander at these lovelies:

Heather

Just.Lovely.Things

Danielle

Take Heart

Chelsea

,,,yours truly 

Ashley

Little Miss Momma

Casey

The Wiegand's

Taylor

Taylor Morgan

Ashley

The Shine Project

Gaby

this little port

I really love these gals.

I get so excited to turn on my laptop and see what they've been up to!

And I'm sure there are more! 

If you are one let me know.

I want to read more about you.

And you about me.

So let me know what you'd like to hear.

Cause I'm here to write.

xxx,ooo

A Secret

There are many things I really dislike doing. Anatomy tops the list. I am taking it to get into a program to get a certification for a job that I really could care less about. But I know I need a good career. But where's the motivation when you choose something that just pays the bills? I know, bills paid should be motivating. Unfortunately as John Lennon says, I'm a dreamer. And I'm not the only one. Listen. Love.
So here's my secret. Also known as, what I really do like.

I LOVE to write.

I've always felt so relaxed while writing. Partly why I love to blog. Also just because I love getting my thoughts out and sharing them with the world. You. I've been wondering for a very long time if I missed my boat. Am I supposed to be a writer? Should I have majored in Journalism? It was on my list of options when I first started the college adventure. But I never thought it could take me anywhere. Ironically, that's where I am now. No where land.

This is my plan:

I've been working with littles (kiddos) for about 10 years now. More on that later. But it's been inspiring for me in two ways. 1) I may never have kids of my own. 2) I know what kind of stories kids like to hear. The latter fact has really sparked my writing mind and I've been writing books whenever they come to me and keeping them in my Blackberry. I keep them in my notepad, and add to them whenever I have a free moment and feel inspired. 

The next step is to move forward and start submitting them to publishers. Scary. And time consuming.
 
Here are a few of my dream publishers: 

Harper Collins

Workman

Macmillan

Those are just a few of my all time favorites. But there are thousands of publishers. And they all have different guidelines for submitting a manuscript. But I have a mission. And a series. Will I get published? I sure wish I could have a job that I loved. And quit school and just write. But I dream.