on frustration

I just had one of those moments. Where the tiniest details causes you to tailspin into an emotional wreck. Where the words, thoughts and feelings coming out are a mess and nothing really makes sense but in your head you are totally right and validated. One of those moments where the tears start falling and you feel like all you want to do is crawl into your bed and hide in the covers for days because surely... that will make it all better.

These are the moments I despise being a girl. I despise it because usually I hit these tailspins after I feel that my man has done some unjust thing to me that is probably the most horrible thing any man could do. Today.... I wanted him home to help me take the laundry to the laundry mat. I have limited time to do it before work tonight and since I have a bad neck/back and the bag is always SO heavy.... I wanted his help. But when I asked him.... I didn't get the "YES. I'll be right there." answer that I was looking for. He didn't say no but at that moment it didn't matter what he said because it wasn't NOW.

And cue tears, jumbled angry words out-loud to no one and the f-word. Yes... frustration.

But here's the thing.

Am I really upset over him not coming RIGHT THIS SECOND to help? Nah. I'm upset REALLY because I have too many commitments, not enough time, a messy house, a dirty car, a hungry tummy, a tired body, a million projects and it may in fact be that time of the month. And I just wanted help. And as someone who has a terrible time asking for help, the fact that I finally did and the answer wasn't what I wanted to hear, well.... I freaked.

Frustration comes in the strangest of forms and for me it's usually at it's worst when I allow all the tiny details add up and then eventually hit me like a ton of tiny emotional daggers. And that many tiny emotional daggers in anyone's heart all at once is most definitely enough to make them cry.

So what do I know now? That it's ok to say no to people when it isn't the BEST interest of my goals and my business and MY LIFE. That when it's something I'm really excited about ... I'm going to put ALL my energy toward it, accomplish it.... and then allow myself to feel proud.

I think that's the thing.

We all work so hard and so fast that we forget to take the time to APPRECIATE and FEEL GOOD when we accomplish something we worked so hard on. And honestly this really goes for the small stuff too. The laundry got done today... so I relaxed with my man before my night shift at work INSTEAD of finishing this post. And it felt good. He gave up part of his day to help me and I wanted to appreciate that by just spending time with him.

We really need to set achievable goals and challenges for ourselves and not forget to feel PROUD when we complete them.  Even if they were altered along the way.

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Happy Tuesday.