Love and Care

I am the type of person who always takes care of other people. I think I must've been genetically predisposed to it or something because even when I don't want to; I'm still taking care of someone or something in someway.

I take care of children.

I've been a nanny for almost two years now and while I totally love my job; it's just extremely exhausting. I've been caring for children since I WAS one and now that I'm almost 25, I think I just feel tired. It doesn't mean I want to quit caring for kids.....it just means sometimes I need a break.

I care for my friends.

Anyone who is a good friend knows, that you care for your friends daily. And they do the same. But I've really felt out of touch with all my best friends lately and I don't even know why. What I do know is that it's really hurting my heart. I feel like I have no one to share with, to cry with and to get silly with. I need to drink wine, watch sappy movies, and just share my heart. You know....in that really really good way. And right now it's missing. 

I care for boyfriend. 

 He may not agree with this. But I feel like most days I care for him so much it hurts. Love is such a terrible  wonderful thing because you want to feel like you completely take care of the other person's heart. This means that I try to make him so happy that I quite frequently leave my own happiness in the lurch. It has to be a team effort or else how can I make him happy if I'm always running on empty?

I take care of family.

 I love my momma to death. We are two peas in a pod, besties and there's no one else I can call at 2am and just blubbering cry to; knowing my mom will talk me out of it. But we live far apart. And I haven't seen her in 2 years. (This makes me want to cry) And everytime I hear that my mom is struggling and not getting to be happy every day.... I try and fix it. I want to be able to take care of my mom completely so that every day she lives is AMAZING. But I can't do it. And it breaks my spirit because... She's my hero. 

I take care of anyone who asks.

Need a babysitter, I'm there. Dog needs a walk? Ok. Ride to work....sure. House is dirty, I got it. Need to feed a thousand children while doing eight loads of laundry while getting a college degree while giving the dog a bath while crocheting a blanket for the homeless? Well, you get the point. 

I can't help who I am. 

Yep, this girl.

But gosh it would feel good to have someone want to take a little care of me. And boyfriend does some things like cook for me. But I go days where 90% of my day is spent just talking to a 2-year old. And I sure do love her, but she doesn't really make me feel appreciated. I just want to know that people are thinking about me as much as I am them. Pretty sure that's why us girls love the unexpected. Cause usually it's something showing that someone cares. 

I just want the unexpected note, or a coffee delivery at 3pm because someone knew I was going nutzo. The funny thing you saw in the window of a store and just had to get cause it reminded you of me. A text during the day that just says "love you" or "you rule" or "what's happening girl"....haha. The things you don't ask for. 

I am done with my rant. I just needed to get it off my chest because let's face it; I clearly need a hug.

But I'm going to do these nice things more too.

 Because I think that we all need a little more love and care. 

xo.